Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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