So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
