TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
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