I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
