Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
