we need to drink 2009 down the drain
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
