He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
how does that bad decision feel?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
