He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
