before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
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