Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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