i think my tv is drunk
I can text with my tongue
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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