Small penises have feelings too.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
