I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
