Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
