I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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