he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
