well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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