Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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