I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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