She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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