what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize