fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Randomize
