Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
