youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
