I'm pants shitting drunk right now
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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