The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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