Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
