the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
