you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
