I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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