Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
