Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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