so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
