we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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