Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
