Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
