D3 body, D1 cock
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
