All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
