At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Couch. On fire.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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