small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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