yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
