I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
