He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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