He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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