Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
