he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
