my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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