First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
