I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
