You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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