I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
