I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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