thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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