note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
