her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
