sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
