dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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