making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
