TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
