So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
