One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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