i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
