remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Randomize
