Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
