Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
We left the knife in your bed.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
